I was recently advised that I am far too blunt in how I describe problems to others. Very rarely am I told that I am too honest, but in this case, I was . . .
This strikes at the heart of a consulting technique that is helpful in any venue.
Just Ask Questions
Questions are often benign ways of raising sensitive subjects, laying bare the issues at hand. Questions disarm and lead the audience toward their own conclusions. In any situation where persuasion wins the day, conflict resolution techniques are where you should be growing your portfolio.
Be kinda like David Caruso in Jade
Consider the following scenario:
The client sees the first slide which contains a conclusion and states, “I think that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!”
Sub-sub-optimal response #1: “Dumb!?! I’m the one working 50 hours a week on your problems. I know more about this than you ever will!”
Sub-optimal response #2: “Well let me show you the data that supports that conclusion.”
Most optimal response: “Please tell me why you feel that way.”
The client is asking for a dialogue with you about this topic. They may or may not be aware of that. They may not even intend that. However, if you treat the statement as an invitation to engage rather than a hostile action, both you and your client will fully explore the issues you are tasked to address. This is also an important relationship building moment. In this (extreme) scenario the client is not exactly being gracious, so take the high road. Resist the impulse to indulge your ego.
Beware of the Hemlock
If Socrates had one failing it was that he never stopped asking questions. This is where we must carefully navigate the waters . . . questions can also be highly offensive. The art of question asking must focus on factual issues and the emotions which envelope them. Know when to stop inquiring and when to start redirecting energy. You have been hired to supply advice and direction. Make sure that after you have exposed topics for discussion that you drive it back to the reason you are there. This technique is about achieving buy-in, not about winning battles. Keep your mind open to the possibility that you are wrong. Asking questions allows others to respond to your assumptions and gives you an opportunity to adjust your perceptions and position. Finally, drive the conversation to closure by writing down the question and writing down the answer. If you can’t use a whiteboard for this purpose, at least demonstrate to the client that you are taking their answers seriously when you ask a question.
